Wednesday, October 3, 2012

re cal' cu lat ing

Sometimes the hardest decisions to make are the ones that at one time would have taken no thought. There's just something about walking a mile that makes all the difference. And the funny thing is, sometimes that mile feels like six, and sometimes walking it feels like just looking at the route on a map.

At one time, I made snap decisions, and liked the results, regardless of where they led. Of course, I was really just a kid then, and had fewer responsibilities. And really, only myself to worry about. Now, though, my children, my husband, even my friends sometimes, weigh on choices I make. Not that I ask around when it comes to big, important decisions; but still. These days, I prefer to not make decisions based on emotional responses. It might make me a little boring, but I prefer to be rational; to consider my past, present and future, my mental and physical health, my children's wants and needs, my relationship with my husband, and, to a slightly lesser extent, my friendships. (Because I have learned that while friends are necessary to sanity, they don't always follow the same route or like the scenery!)

Today, I made a decision that may have been life-changing, in that my reasons for it will require me to follow through with another change in direction. I asked for guidance, and two words came to mind, repeatedly. My only option is to go with them. I've already started the ball rolling, now to chase it down.

One mile at a time.

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