Almost two weeks ago, I finished a book of reflection. It was a daily devotional that touched my heart deeply. On the last day, as I began the last paragraphs, I sobbed uncontrollably. Having to wait to read until my tears subsided was both painful and relief. I was about to say I had never felt such emotion, but then I remembered that I most certainlu have--in prayer.
That bliss - that indescribably intense emotional response - is sometimes frightening. And yet the 'realness' of it is at the same time reassuring, comforting, peaceful. In those moments, time is irrelevant and space is immaterial. I'm not alone and no one is with me. I find myself deep within my own heart and nowhere at once. Every time, there have been tears, and often laughter or an uncontrollably broad smile.
I'd thought that deep state of prayerful being was only possible once in a while, but I'm thinking now there might be more to the story. I tried starting the book over. Not in an effort to recreate, but because I had learned so much through the first reading, and I know there is always more. But the pages may well have been blank: I saw nothing but black marks on a page. I gave up after three days. I miss it.
My heart of hearts knows that prayer is within me. Every day. My mind is suddenly interfering. Love will win out; Love never fails.
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