growing closer

Sitting on a rock by a stream this morning, shoulder to shoulder with a friend, both of us in jeans and jerseys and tossing pieces of stick into the water, I shared my heart.  What was there was hard to share. I thought it would, at best, hurt my friend's feelings, and at worst, wreck our friendship completely. Instead the response my friend gave was a simple, "yeah, I know." Relieved but still shaken from sharing, I asked how it could be okay, why there was no anger, no yelling, no judgement. In response, "you are where you should be."

This is how it goes sometimes when I pray, especially when I have something difficult to share. I find myself sitting alongside Jesus, often on a boulder-like rock, our feet off the ground, and the sun on our backs, usually shoulder to shoulder, as close friends often are. I don't get to see his face, but I do feel his warmth.
Through today's prayer, and the subsequent flow of thoughts throughout the morning, I kept remembering that I need to work on having more such conversations with people. Especially when the subjects are hard, like today's. Those human interactions help me to know myself, so in turn I can know Christ. That's hard for me. Something that makes me worry I might repel Jesus sure isn't something I'm going to rush to tell a person! And yet when I shared the same sentiments with a person today, and then another, the responses were not that much different from his. The responses I feared turned out to be related to my own self-judgement. No big surprise there, but I have made great strides in that area. One day I hope to find I'm only doing a quick analysis, but for now, steps in the right direction are enough.
I know there's something missing; something that will be leading to more difficult conversations about faith and direction. And I know there will have to be people involved in them, too. They can't all happen in some supernatural place by a perfectly picturesque stream. And not all of them will end well. But, so far the Lord's been gentle with me, leading me to those who are willing and/or able to hear my heart in my words. 
Lord, I need You. Friends, I need you. I am blessed to have you.