what to say....

The other day, I learned that there is a website dedicated to what you would like to have said to your loved ones before they died. A question was posed: "What do you wish you'd said?" Immediately, my thoughts went to my dad, and the fact that I have never felt like I missed telling him anything. I resolved to think about it, and come up with something. I can't.

This morning, though, as I sat at the computer trying to think of a topic, I realized that I do wish I'd said something to my mother-in-law. This, actually, surprised me a great deal.

I never felt welcomed by Marie. Guy's sister, at one point, told me that Marie talked about me in glowing terms, but that never got back to me when she was alive. In fact, there was a time when she told me I was too "loud and opinionated" to fit in with the family. It made me giggle, for reasons you could probably guess. There was also the time, pregnant with Jonathan, that she told me how awful newborn heads are to deliver. Sitting broad shoulder to broad shoulder with Guy, I pointed out that I was more concerned about the baby's shoulders. "Why on earth?" she asked. "Have you noticed how we are built?" I asked. "Both of us are good, solid peasant stock." She wondered why I would put myself down so, and why I would think of Guy and myself as anything less than royalty. Again, I chuckled, because this was yet another trait I held to be a part of me.

In the twenty years I have been a Tanguay, I have grown and matured in so many ways. If I were to meet Marie for the first time now, our relationship would be very different, I'm sure. I doubt that we would ever have found enough common ground to be "close," but we probably could have understood each other a little better. When we met, I was a kid--wet behind the ears, and raring to go. I wanted to prove to everyone that I was independent, self-assured. Now I know better; there's no reason to "prove it" anymore. I am still self-assured, and fairly opinionated at times, difficult, but I am also more at ease with myself.

What do I wish I'd told her? That her son is a wonderful husband and father. That our life together has been difficult, but worth every trial. That I know that her influence on him was very important to who he is today, and that I appreciate . I would thank her for having Guy.

Thank you, Marie.