happy new year

January 1, 2012

I don't make New Year's resolutions.

That's not to say that I am against self-improvement, or new beginnings, or any of those things. Or that I shy away from them. Rather, I prefer to make life changing decisions when I am in the middle of my living, instead of in that gloriously lazy time between Christmas and New Year's Day. During that week, whether we have travelled for the holidays or not, there is far less for me to think about and do than at any other time during the year. The preparations for Christmas are finished; there's no school schedule to work around; practice schedules are modified or non-existent. The only obligations I really have are self-imposed, and as a naturally lazy person, are admittedly easy, if they exist at all.

I do take a little of that time to think about how I'd like to see the coming year shape up. There are things I'd like to accomplish, and dreams I'd like to see come true, but I know myself, and if I make promises to change my life while I'm being all fat and lazy, I will only disappoint myself. Instead, I wait a while. Besides, as soon as Christmas wrappings are cleaned up, I need to start thinking about finding just the right thing for my husband for our January anniversary. , and then I like to take some time to get excited about my birthday in February. (Looking forward like that gets me through the darktime of winter, which takes a toll on me!)

After my birthday, during that month of many birthdays, but not much else, I start to think about what I want to promise myself. In the years when I've made fitness goals, that's worked very well for me, as most of the 'Resolution Runners' have given up their treadmills and weight machines by then, leaving room for those who have stronger resolve, or more concrete goals. (There is, after all, a great difference between those who make a resolution to "get more exercise" and those who set a goal to "lose x# of pounds," "run x miles a week," or "fit into this again." The latter are far better company at the gym, and more successful, from what I've seen.)

And when I make the promises, I only make three at the most. Otherwise, how can I remember what it is I wanted to work on? Having fewer goals makes it easier for me to adjust them as needed, too, instead of abandoning an idea when it gets tough, or if it becomes clear that I've set my sights too high or too low than is reasonable. I want to challenge myself, but sometimes one year is not enough time to accomplish a change. Last February, I decided to pare down my stash of fabric. I was starting to get discouraged by about May, when I had not sewn anything at all, and decided I would need to re-evaluate: should I just dispose of smaller pieces? Drop them in the Community Aid box? Hold on to them some more and worry more about the larger pieces? As I gave myself time to consider this, I found a great book, One Yard Wonders, which gave me some fantastic ideas! I passed the late spring, summer, and into the Christmas season whipping up one small project after another. When my dryer was broken during a damp week in the summer, I even made a shirt to wear to work the next day so I could wait to hang clothes on the line--and then made a duplicate for a friend because she liked it so much! My stash is still pretty large, but getting more manageable. And it's become a habit...

Making these changes a habit is the ultimate goal for me, and that's the biggest reason I keep the list small. I can't make one thing a habit if I'm always thinking about all the other things on my list. As a result, my list also tends to have goals that are either very related, or so unrelated so as not to seem to belong together. It's my system, and it works for me. That's what matters.

It's inevitable, though, someone will ask what resolutions I've made. Depending on who asks, my answer varies from the honest to goodness truth about why I haven't made any, to a simple, "None," to the ironic: "To care less," (referring to a joke between me and my friend, Beth, that we sometimes wish we stressed more over the dumb little things like chipped nail polish so we wouldn't stress so much about big stuff, like jobs and bills) or "To bathe more" (referring to the fact that I would really like to soak in the tub and read for hours at a time on a daily basis, even though that's far from practical). I don't ask others. Anyone who shares with me, and asks for my support with them, will get it, but unless they are shared with me voluntarily, I don't see where it's my business. I do share my goals with others when I need to, but only with those whose support I can count on.

As always, I'm working on me; hoping to improve who I am as a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, employee, neighbor, stranger. And along the way, I hope to help improve our home, our community, our school, and in some small way, our world. Currently, one scrap of fabric at a time.....