one of those days

There are days when I wonder what on earth I am doing all this for. I go to work, and the day deteriorates as it progresses. I come home, and my timing seems to be all off--dinner isn't ready when we need it; there's no list for the grocery store; no one has any socks. Then the dogs get rambunctious, the kids get demanding, and I start to feel like poo. The truth is, these days are not any more frequent for me than they are for anyone else--or at least the parts that I have any control over--but when they swirl together in one black hole of a day, I sure do feel as though I have never done any of it right.

That's when the bright spots occur, as if on cue. Today, when all the staplers were missing (which, in all honesty, affected me not at all) and I realized I forgot the crackers that were to be half my lunch, a student said something with the sole purpose of making me smile. Later, after one son embarrassed me by being "lippy" with our cashier at the grocery store, another son added a smiley face to a text. Neither my smiley son, nor the student had any idea of what had hit my brain--their timing was simply impeccable.

Truly, I'm a lucky woman. My life is so good. Sure, I have things that bug me about it--our discretionary income leaves a lot to be desired (literally!), and we really could use a new car, our house is drafty, and it's all rather frustrating at times--but I have everything I ever wanted: a wonderful husband, who humors me (laughing with me far more than he laughs at me!), four children, each with their own unique gifts and outlooks, a home to take care of, a job that gives me the time I need to be the mom I always wanted to be, a summer job that pushes me beyond the limits I had imposed upon myself, and good health for all of us. I'm happy.

I'm grateful for my family in my house, my family scattered across the country, my family of choice...all of whom make a difference in my life, whether they realize it or not. On days like today, when so many things feel like they've been dumped into a heap in the middle of the floor, I am most likely to realize that I have it all: the good life.

And tomorrow will not be so bad. I hope.