the little things

Peace and happiness, from what I can tell, is found in the subtleties of life, rather than in the extremes. Yes, our trip to Hawaii was amazing, our wedding day was unforgettable, the births of each of our children are indelibly printed on my heart--but the common denominator, the part that gave me the most happiness in each of those things, is the simple fact that I was sharing them, and feeling the little things that made them special. Like seeing my husband and my brother play in the waves like little kids. Shopping with a fellow un-shopper. Dancing the polka with my little brother. Knowing that when we directed the kissing stuff to our attendants, they would be more than happy to oblige. The look of wonder on my husband's face as he first gazed at each of our boys.

While these events were momentous, I find these feelings in my average, everyday interactions. Just now, I hear the voices of my husband and two of the boys, coming home from practice. They are laughing and sharing stories, and my heart warms with the reality of the beautiful relationship they have. Even the times when I get into heated discussions with our rather vociferous son, I can see the beauty in resisting frustration (and failing, frequently! But we are getting better at it!) and maintaining a level head to have a rational discussion. The feeling of accomplishment when the menu for the week is made; the groceries bought and put away.

At one time, I believed that the high points of life were what makes the low points bearable. Yes, they help, but in all honesty, what gets me through the rough times is the knowledge, and the trust, that tomorrow, or maybe the next day, will be fairly normal, with little joys, minor grumblings, lots of love, and a houseful of noise (for now). Having four boys makes for some wide differentials. Without this discovery of peace within, I'm pretty sure we'd be looking at some pretty empty-feeling days later on, when they all move on, as they should. Instead, I'm confident we will have the tools we need to build our "regular days" into the special days that begin with each sunrise.